No Time For Proofreading When It Comes to Booze and Sex!

My latest discoveries of grammatical errors stumble upon the wondrous world of alcohol and sex. Many of you may be asking, "I thought grammar doesn't really matter when it comes to boozin' and sexin'?" Well, you're right. Today's lesson is brought to you by: possession.


When it comes to drinking, there's no need for rules pertaining to possession. These mixers will eventually be possessed by some sort of tequila, vodka, rum, or various other delightfully drunk goodies. All I wanna know is, Mixer's what?


Whoever made this sign must've been so inspired and/or lusted that they forgot that if the noun does not end in an "e," you don't need to add an "ey" to the end to make it an adjective. Screw grammar when it comes to sex! I guess the extra "E" is for an extra umph for that erection. And my horny what? My horny dog? My horny neighbor? I don't understand. Perhaps this sign-maker should have spent more time understanding the difference between "your" as a possession and "you are."
Ironically, a truck with the bumper sticker "I <3 Roadhead" was in front of me and didn't honk. He must've been the other kind of "horney." The one that's spelled right.

So as my heartless grammar quest continues, I plan to bring many more humorous photos and anecdotes to fill a void in your heart with a special typo-ed treat. Till next time. Happy editing! :)

What Day is Today?

Today is Wonderful Weirdos Day! Seriously, I'm not kidding. There is an actual holiday devoted to people such as myself. See, it's silly little things like this that make me feel special for being, well . . . me. I strive every day to bring the strangest, most quirky moments to those who surround me. I'm not too sure how to celebrate. Maybe I shall watch something from my Ed Wood movie collection, or put things up my nose (like peanuts or marshmallows). Perhaps I'll even run up and down the neighborhood shouting, "The British are coming! The British are coming!" in pirate gear. Whatever I may chose, I'm quite positive it shall be joyous.

And there was much rejoicing, hurray!

Much of my blog will be dedicated to various bizarre occurrences in my life; however, it will also feature hilarious typos or grammatical errors I discover in my travels, as I am an editor by profession and heart. The first typographical error I wish to share with you has got to be one of the funniest typos--ever. And to top it off, it's from a well-known company.

I received this cut-sheet from my human resources department to inform me about one of my voluntary benefits, which is from LifeLock. Obviously, from their bold commercials, they prevent identity theft. Below is the picture. If you look closely you will see the error that had my co-workers, my friends and me busting a gut (hint: it's the 5th line down under "Fast Facts About Identity Theft"):


I'm thinking about signing up for it (my company gets a nice discount), but I'm worried it may not cover all my hoes. Oh well, while I'm pondering this on my new favorite holiday, changing into my pirate attire, I leave you to wonder, "What the hell is this girl talking about?"

Till next time! Stay outta trouble!

--Arlene Neilson

When Procrastinating, Procrastinate Some More . . .

So, I figure I give the blog another go after influence from a couple of co-workers who are frequent bloggers on here. Thanks for the inspiration, you two!

As for keeping up with this, I made the layout more personal and more to my liking. Wahoo!

I can't really think of anything to blog about at the moment; however, I would like to point out that I am bored. Very, very, very bored. And my wisdom teeth hurt. And I am complaining . . . alot. So, I shall shut up right here, right now until I have something more useful to say.

Until we meet again.

- Arlene Neilson